Despre penis

Partea interesanta este in josul pozei. Adica textul :D

Dick

In urma cu ceva vreme scriam articolul acesta, si primeam de la Octavian, cadou, o carte despre Penis. Am promis ca o citesc in concediu, dar fiind in format electronic si cum nu am avut chef sa mai car si laptopul pe varful muntelui, nu am mai citit-o atunci. In schimb, m-am delectat:) cu ea (cu cartea) weekendul asta.

Nu ca nu m-as fi asteptat :D dar (cartea) a fost o incantare continua… M-a cucerit inca de la titlurile capitolelor. Citez, selectiv si aleatoriu: Anatomy – how it hangs; Physiology: The ups and downs of a mobile organ; A right handful: Masturbation; Premature ejaculation: ‘Roger and out; etc.

In cazul in care cineva nu a aflat inca ce este penisul, iata defnitia din carte: The penis is a fleshy appendage that curls like a snail against the lower part of a man’s abdomen. At least that is how it looks in its flaccid, limp state. When a man is sexually excited, this little snail lengthens and thickens and sticks out at an upward angle from the belly—it is then hard and rigid—a ‘bone’. Hmm, o sa privesc melcii cu alti ochi de acum inainte :P

 Cateva penis related facts:

–          singurul penis care contine oase este cel de opossum. Oare sa o compatimim sau sa o invidiem pe opossumita?:)

–         sperma contine o substanta fluorescenta (autoarele – Michele C. Moore and Caroline de Costa – speculeaza ca este pentru a fi vazuta de ovul in intuneric). Ma rog, poate si de amigdale :D.

–         pensiul este folosit si ca obiect decorativ in numeroase culturi si  uneori este tatuat. De unde si culmea tatuajului: sa iti tatuezi pe penis un penis mai mare decat al tau;)

–         Testosteronul provine din colesterol, deci varu’ e indicat sa mananci cat mai multe gratare din alea de care iti plac tie:P;

–         In Evul mediu barbatii purtau incaltari cu o forma lunga si ascutita pentru a indica doamnelor dimensiunile “dotarilor” lor. Azi se foloseste expresia “pula mea”, la fiecare doua fraze.

–         In Kama Sutra barbatii sunt clasificati in: Iepuri (13 cm); Tauri (18 cm) si Cai (peste 25 cm). De aici si expresia Armasar?:P

–         Barbatii care nu au facuta circumcizia nu vor intra in rai. Hmmm, sa-mi ascut toporul, baieti?:P

–         Chiar si peste 50 sau 60 de ani – it happens. Bolile de inima, tensiunea arteriala mare, lipsa vederii, lipsa auzului, artrita sau chiar pierderile de memorie nu te impiedica sa te bucuri de o viata sexual activa. Vesti bune, nu Aline? :D

–         Prezervativele sunt supuse unor teste de calitate care implica curentul electric, aerul  si apa. In Statele Unite cantitatea de apa cu care se testeaza permeabilitatea prezervativelor este de 300 ml iar in Marea Birtanie este de 3 l.  Well, do you speak English?

Trecand peste parea fun si comentariile mai mult sau mai putin aluzive…multe alte lucruri interesante si serioase veti afla, citind cartea.  Dupa cum zice si titlul: un ghid util pentru baieti si fete. Pana atunci, bonus:), copy/paste lista cu variatele denumiri pe care penisul le-a primit de-a lungul timpului, unele mai fun decat altele.

 Enjoy! Da, SI de lista ;)

Aaron’s rod

Action man

Arrow (in fact, all weapons are

popular)

Artillery

Assailant

Baby maker

Bag boy

Bag of tricks

Bald root

Ballcock

Balls (not strictly penis)

Banana

Banger (also Big banger)

Battering ram

Beak

Beef bayonet (also Hot beef)

Bell boy

Bellpull

Best man

Big banana

Big Bob

Big boy

Big honcho, big bamboo

Big man on campus

Big one

Blade

Blind Bob

Blind eye

Blind man

Bludgeon

Bob

Boner

Broom handle

Bush beater

Candle

Cannon

Captain Standish

Captain, cavalier

Carnal man

Carrot

Chap (also Old chap)

Cherry picker

Chilli (with various adjectives)

Chopper

Chucker, chuck

Clothes pin or peg

Club

Cock, cocksman

Codpiece

Crack hunter

Cranny hunter

Creamsickle

Creamstick

Crimson bird (a red paloma?)

Crown jewels

Cuckoo

Cucumber (or vegie of your

choice)

Cupid’s torch

Cyclops

Dick (of course!) and aka Moby

Dickety boy

Diddler

Didgeridoo

Dildo (also a fake penis)

Ding-a-ling

Dingbat

Ding-dong, dingle, dingle-dangle

Dingus

Diplomat

Dipstick

Disturber of the peace (piece)

Do-funny

Do-gooder

Donger, dong

Donut puncher

Doodle

Dork

Dragon

Dribbler

Drumstick

Dum-dum

Eel

Egghead

End piece

Engine

Equipment

Erogenous part

Extension

Faithful friend

Faithful servant

Family jewel

Fanny rat

Father confessor

Fellow, also fella, little fella and

old fellow/fella

Fiddle bow

Finger

Fingamajig

Flip-flop

Flute

Flying blowtorch

Flying dick

Fornicator

Frankfurter

Freudian tip (not bad!)

Frigger

Fruit

Fucker (and more along these

lines which we’ll leave to your

imagination)

Gap stopper

Gem

General

Generator

Gentle tickler

Giggle stick

Girl pleaser

Girlometer

Gold digger

Goober

Gooseneck

Grand masterpiece

Gravy giver

Greenstick

Grinding tool

Grunt iron

Hambone

Headlight

Hermit

Hoe handle

Hooded bandit

Horn

Hose

Hot pudding

Hotrod, hotdog

Implement

Instrument

Irish root

Iron

Jack

Jade scepter

Jade stem

Jerking iron

Jerktown

John Thomas

Johnson

Joint

Jokester

Jolly Roger

Joy knob

Joy stick

Juice man

Junior

Kit and caboodle

Knob

Knocker

Kojak, Yul Brynner

(or any bald-headed man)

Ladies’ delight

Lamp of life (really!)

Lead joint

Lead pipe clincher

Leg

Life preserver

Lingam

Lip splitter

Little man, little fireman

Lizard

Lollipop

Love gun, love trumpet, love tool,

love sausage, etc., etc.

Love sword, love pole, love pistol

Lunchbox (the whole package, we

guess)

Magic wand

Manhood mushroom

Marrowbone

Meat (also man meat)

Member (gold and other colours)

Milkman

Missile, heat-seeking missile

Monk, also monkey

Mousie

Mr Floppy (who’d admit to that

one?)

Mr Happy

Mr Jones Mulligan

Mr Know-it-all

Muscle of love, also inflatable

muscle of love

My affair

My business end

My little buddy

Nag

Nature’s masterpiece

Nature’s scythe

Nice little piece of possibility

Nine-inch knocker (above the

national average, see ‘size’)

Noodle

Nose

Nuthouse

Old blind Bob

Old boy, old sausage and many

similar endearments

Old Horny

Old Jack

Old Slimy

One-eyed Jack

One-eyed trouser snake

Organ of generation

Oscar

Peacemaker

Pecker

Pee pee

Peewee

Pego

Pendulum

Percolator

Percy (for pointing at the

porcelain)

Perker up

Peter, Pete, old Pete

Phallus

Pikestaff

Pile driver

Pilgrim’s staff

Pillar, pillar of ivory

Pioneer

Pipe

Pipe organ

Pisser

Pistol

Piston

Plank

Plaything

Pleasure machine

Plough

Plug

Plum picker

Point

Poker

Pole

Poontagger

Pork sword

Potent regiment

Potz, putz

Priapus

Prick

Pride and joy

Privates

Proboscis

Prong

Pud (as in ‘pulling the pud’)

Pump

Purple-headed love warrior

Purple people eater (a generational

thing)

Quartermaster

Quim

Rabbit

Radish (vegies again)

Rainstick

Ramrod, rod

Randy mole

Reamer

Rector

Red cap

Red hot poker

Reverend

Richard (Dick to his friends!)

Roger and out

Roger (also Roger Ramjet)

Rolling pin

Rooster

Ruffian

Rump splitter

Saint Peter

Salami, old salami

Sausage (fries with that?)

Sceptre

Schlong

Schmock

Screwdriver

Seat of strength

Semi-automatic

Sexing piece

Shaft

Short arm

Slug

Snake in the grass

Solicitor general

Spear of love

Spindle

Spunker

Stalk

Stallion

Steed

Stem

Stick

Sting

Stud poker

Stump

Stumper

Submarine

Sword

Tailpipe

The professor

The Right Honorable Member

for Underpants (really?)

Thing

Third leg

Thorn in the flesh

Thumb of love

Thunderstick

Tickler

Todger

Tonsil tickler

Tool

Torch

Trickster

Trigger

Trouser snake, trouser serpent,

trouser wasp

Truncheon

Tube of lipstick

Unicorn

Utensil

Veined sausage

Wanger, wing wang

Wanker

Water spout

Water works

Wazoo

Weapon

Wedding tackle

Wee wee, weenie, weiner, woo

woo

Whip

Whore pipe

Wife’s best friend

Wig-wag, wick, winkle

Willie

Winkie, wee willie winkie, winky

Worm

Yang

Yard (you wish!)

Yard stick (ditto)

Yum-Yum

Zeppelin